Cirque Du Freak An Alternate Version
by xxAlisonxx
Summary: A parody of Cirque du Freak with new characters, but basically the same storyline. Rated T so no one can yell at me for language.


1 For everyone scared of curse words: There will be a few in this story. Nothing major, but this is just a fair warning to those who cry when someone says something that could be counted as "Adult Language".

** Okay, so this story is basically Cirque Du Freak with different characters for Darren and Steve . I don't know whether I would call it a parody, so don't take it too seriously. I haven't wrote that much, so I'm not sure what direction it's going in. Either way, I hope you like it. Please review! It won't follow the story exactly, and it will be pretty crazy, but don't be afraid to tell me if I've made stupid mistakes. I don't mind if you're a critic, but if you write a review filled with hatefulness and bad attitude, I won't read it. Unless you're roxypony. She's cool.**

** Anyways, all characters belong to Darren Shan. Except for Amy and Alison. **

**It starts off based on the first book. I'm going to try to follow the story line, and by that I mean the chapters will be in sync with the books. Like, whatever happens in the book in that chapter will happen in this, only my way. If you don't understand... well, I don't really blame you. I suck at explaining things. Oh, and I'm not going to put in the intro chapter that's at the beginning of the book. **

** Oh, and so I don't have to tell you in the story, here's some descriptions of what my characters look like. **

**Alison: Dark, curly hair, green eyes and pale skin. Her features are kind of like Emma Watson.**

**Amy: Long, straight, brown hair, with pale blue eyes. She's pretty big, but not necessarily in a hulky-guy way. By the way, SHE'S PSYCHO. **

** Okay, I'm done talking. Here's the story:**

I was in the 7th grade bathroom at my middle school, pacing around and humming a song. I'd felt sick in English class,asked if I could go to the bathroom. My teacher is good at telling if someone's faking an illness and when someone's actually sick, so they let me go**.**

"Just come back as soon as you throw up whatever's making you feel sick, ." he said, then gave me a pass for the bathroom.

In the end my head stopped spinning and I felt better, but I didn't go back to class too soon. I was afraid that either I'd feel sick again and wouldn't be allowed to leave, or my teacher, Mr. Dalton, would think I had been lying. I don't like getting on teacher's bad sides. I find it's easier to be known as the good girl than the rebel.

So I kept pacing for a while, bored, glancing between the mirror and my watch, trying to burn some time. That's when I heard a high pitched voice squeal my name.

"Alison! Alison! Alison? Hey, Alison, you in there? Did you die?"

I grinned. It was my best friend, Amy Crazybitch Johnson. Amy's real middle name is Julie, but everyone calls her Amy Crazybitch. It partly because she's been known to act like a lunatic and flip out when she gets angry, and also because she owns an insane female dog that barks at inanimate objects.

Anyways, everyone was scared of her ever since she threw a desk at a substitute that mispronounced her last name. I usually ran away when she got angry from that point on.

She had went to a counselor for the past 6 years ever since that happenedand had learned to control her anger, but still had a bad rep, even with the kids that were older than her.

"Hey Amy, I'm in here." I said, and opened the bathroom door to let her in.

She hurried over and I held the door. "Did you puke?" she asked.

"No," I said.

"Do you think you will?" she asked.

"I don't think so." I said, then walked over to the sink and splashed my face with some water.

"If you do, can I bottle it?" she asked.

"Yeah, su- wait, what did you just ask?" I said, looking up from the sink, but she had already walked out the door.

I ran out the bathroom door and caught up with her. "So, did I miss anything in class?" I asked as soon as I was walking next to her.

"Nah," she said. "Just the usual stuff."

"Did you do the homework?" I asked.

"It's not due until tomorrow, does it?" she asked, getting nervous. She always forgets about assignments.

"The day after tomorrow." I told her.

"Oh, even better..." she said, relaxing. "I thought..." she stopped for a second and frowned. "Hold on." she said. "Today's Tuesday, the day after tomorrow would be... THURSDAY!" she shouted in a sudden rage.

I ran back into the bathroom and took cover in one of the stalls as she banged her fists on the lockers in the hallway. I had forgotten her irrational fear of Thursdays. At the mere mention of a Thursday she would flip out and start beating the walls with her hands.

After a while, she got tired and calmed down. She knocked on the bathroom door andasked, "Are you coming out?"

"Are you sure it's safe to come out?" I asked, not completely sure if she was finished with hitting things yet.

"Quit joking." she said. I hadn't been joking, but I came out anyways and we continued walking together.

When we got outside, the other kids were playing football. I was a total spazz at it, but Amy was amazing when it came to violent sports. I started to try and help out my team, but ended up scoring 3 times for the opposing team. Sports just aren't my thing. Amy came to the rescue and helped my team.

"Never fear, Crazybitch Amy is here!" she yelled out to my team. A few of the kids on the opposite team screamed and headed for the door to try to get inside the school, but she had locked it when she came out. She didn't actually get our team any points, but she did tackle a few of the kids on the opposite team. My friend Alan wasn't moving after she had jumped on him, but I expected that he was just being lazy.

My team was able to score 2 points, but in the end, we lost. Amy went over and pickpocketed Alan who was still lying face down on the concrete, and then ran over to me.

"Look what I found!" Amy yelled, waving a leather wallet with two Canadian dollars sticking out of it under my nose.

"That's very nice, Amy." I said.

"You two! Inside!" Mr. Dalton yelled.

"SHUT UP, JACKA-" I covered Amy's mouth with my hand before she could finish.

"OH MY GOSH." she yelled while rifling through the wallet. "LOOK AT THIS!"

"What?" I asked, as she pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of paper.

"It says-"Amy started to explain, but then was cut off by Mr. Daltonyelling at us to come in.

This time, Amy was able to spew a few profanities before I could stop her this time. Mr. Dalton didn't mind too much, though, since she was usually a good student after she calmed down from the excitement of tackling kids in football. Either way, nobody could get away with being late for his class.

As we ran into the school, I had no idea that Amy's mystery paper would change my life.

FOR THE WORSE!

** Okay, so I hope you guys liked it. If I get a bunch of reviews saying it was meh, then I'll probably discontinue it. If I don't get any signal whatsoever that someone likes it, I won't keep writing either. So if you like it, review it! BYEEE!**


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